Chasing Perfection
Perfection — creates a still image, unchanged by time or space. Perfection reminds me of symmetry —evoking a feeling of utter beauty, perfect dimensions, organization, and clean lines.
Perfection can be beautiful, yet when it comes to art, it can create paralysis. We are so much greater than this still image of ourselves. Even symmetrical works of art often have small asymmetries. Chasing perfection can destroy beauty, and the creative process itself. Perfection paralyzes aspirations and dreams; it has a way of creeping up and making itself seem important, but it can be destructive.
I rewrite and consider how to improve my writing. The iteration is good: it is hard work, but the pursuit of perfection is a waste of energy. In my own life it shows up as this pervading sense of doom — of avoiding mistakes — of never taking risks —of looking like a fool. How does it show up for you?
I have a life bucket list I have been doing for some years; it is an emotional bucket list, a passion project that acts as an open journey. I called it Mrs. Bucketlist, it began years ago as a blog on WordPress as an internal bucketlist (now it is defunct, but even stilI, I revisit the idea).
Bucket list 2024: Let go of perfectionism.
I underwent a radical transformation in the way I thought about my creative process. I had to open my mind to accept new ways of thinking. It felt completely artificial at first- especially after experiences that seemed to reward perfectionism, but soon I realized the “artificial” part was just shedding an old persona filled with fear and expectations. An artist is better off without it. So I let go of the baggage of perfectionism.
I had to come to the realization that our best work is not perfect work — but one riddled with an even more dedicated mindset. A writer that succeeds is not perfect, but diligent and committed. A good writer rewrites and rewrites, but never seeks perfection. Art is a process, not an end game and the journey matters as much as the finished product.
I learned this the hard way. I began a thriller set in NYC and abandoned it after rewriting too many chapters in the first draft. I ended up with a beautiful solitary chapter and no direction. The better path would have been fleshing out an imperfect draft. But all was not lost, I kept the idea of NYC and the research for another book idea. So even in failure, we can find imperfections help us.
The process ebbs and flows, and that’s okay too. I see creativity like a labyrinth, I talked about this in my last article -it sometimes feels like a puzzle we must solve. Seeing it this way, made me work harder. Creativity is messy far from perfect — but it allows us to reach new heights in our craft.
A quote by Beethoven inspires this thought:
“Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine.”
I was a bit intrigued by it and also I realized it was probably somewhat inaccurate, as some quotes on Facebook tend to be, so I researched it a bit more.
Apparently, this quote came from a letter that Beethoven sent to a pianist who sent him a gift, in his reply, Beethoven advises her to “not only practice art, but get to the very heart of it.”
The letter in its entirety is quite beautiful, so I thought to share it this section of it:
“. . ..Continue, do not only practice art, but get at the very heart of it; this it deserves, for only art and science raise men to the level of the gods. If, my dear Emilie, you at any time wish to know something, write without hesitation to me. The true artist is not proud, he unfortunately sees that art has no limits; he feels darkly how far he is from the goal; and though he may be admired by others, he is sad not to have reached that point to which his better genius only appears as a distant, guiding sun.” -(http://1812now.blogspot.com/2012/07/july-17-1812-beethoven-my-dear-friend.html) Letter to My Dear Good Emilie-My Dear Friend, July 17, 1812.
It takes a great deal of commitment and dedication to be good at any craft, but if Beethoven himself had doubts, then I guess some level of self-doubt is perhaps healthy. But creativity as a divine sense of reaching the level of gods might reveal Beethoven's pursuit of perfection in music. Beethoven expressed his views further when he told the visiting Johann Friedrich Rochlitz in 1822:
You will hear nothing of me here … Fidelio? They cannot give it, nor do they want to listen to it. The symphonies? They have no time for them. My concertos? Everyone grinds out only the stuff he himself has made. The solo pieces? They went out of fashion long ago, and here fashion is everything. At the most, Schuppanzigh occasionally digs up a quartet.[159]
Today it is hard to imagine Beethoven ever going out of style — his work the most performed of classical compositions and his influence on Western music immeasurable. Although this sense of self-doubt and self-criticism seems removed from the masters of craft or industry — I think in considering perfectionism it is important to remember that even those who reached amazing heights of human achievement, had their moments of doubt and perfectionism.
When I began the Penny CoffeeHouse series, it had been awhile since I had written anything new, and I could not find a good excuse as to why. I think it was driven by fear of failure fueled by perfectionism. Fear starts off like a warm blanket, that feels really good, but it ends up leaving us with anything but comfort. Perfection is the enemy of creativity. Throw it out. Do it fast. Write. Create. Dance. Doubt less, do more.
[Write] “anything you damn well want.”-Stephen KingThe problem is when we carry perfection for so long, it begins to control our emotions, our thoughts, our lives. In our culture, we want to stay beautiful and young forever-we want to live up to the ideal of a perfection imposed by others. But there is no such thing. And our imperfections are actually beautiful too, they are what makes us beautiful. The opposite of perfection is not imperfection, it is beauty.
What if we could just let it be? I tend to be a worrier, I fret, I talk, or I over-think to the point I get upset about things out of my control. I had to learn that letting go of my idea of “perfect” actually released many burdens for me and led to a more emotionally open and empathetic existence.
Is there something inside of us that says things are “supposed” to be a certain way or do we create that image?
What if we could think of life in the image of our favorite mug— would our perception of beauty change? If it chipped, would we keep our beloved mug or throw it away?
Buddhist teachings think of the self like a jewel that needs to be unearthed, an inherent perfection that already exists and can not be tarnished by the dirt around the jewel. If we think of ourselves as jewels being unearthed, a path of seeking perfection proves irrelevant. Our path is to simply discover the complex jewel within us.
We are already created perfect, even our imperfections, are there to serve a uniquely beautiful human purpose. An imperfect image is a figure in motion-jagged, angular lines, diagonal, curved, infinitely changing shapes and colors. Imperfection is being alive. Death is perfection — unchanged it is like a cold, marble statue, beautiful but always the same.
In fact, in Japanese culture, Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is considered the beauty of imperfection. Artists highly value the aesthetic and Wabi-sabi tea bowls have been used in traditional tea ceremonies for centuries, and valued for their irregularities and imperfections.
Last year, I was looking for a gift for a friend and I wanted it to be “perfect”. I stumbled upon a tea pot with four cups for sharing. I thought, “he could share this with others and make memories with friends or in quiet contemplation drink tea.” I stopped thinking of the perfection of the gift, and instead focused on its many uses — celebratory occasions, new tea discoveries, and moments quiet peace. I’ve given tea sets many times as gifts after this moment of reflection because the meaning of stopping to spend time on self or make memories with friends — is one I love to share with others.
We can do the same in our own lives: rather than focus on seeking perfection or our imperfections, focus on how we can use our lives to help others, enjoy all the little things and improve each passing day. Rather than seek perfection, we can chase a more boring pursuit — consistency. We can show up and be surprised.
It is like enjoying a walk each day at sunset, when all of sudden you end up sitting beneath the tree without having decided to do so, you end up finding a moment of perfect stillness without even expecting it, without seeking a perfect ending to the day, suddenly you realize you have it. The day is perfect.
There is one constant in life-change. The life we have in one moment, will always change. We have this fight with permanence. It is one we can never win.
Art is a journey of successes, mistakes, challenges and opportunities — not one of perfection but of finding beauty in mastering ourselves to achieve our greatest dreams. You are imperfect, and that is perfection. We are not missing anything, exactly as we are.
